Wanna talk about my love life
Easiest answer ever…I don’t have a love life.
Okay, I have a little love life. It mainly consists of food, internet, and sleeping. Mash all those together and you have the ultimate life partner for me!
But in reality, I guess you could say that I’m what you call an “admirer”. Like many girls, I can pick out a good looking guy in a crowd and so far haven’t had much trouble talking to them. I find men a gift to us women folk…a gift we should set in a shelf and admire for its awesomeness. At the same time I feel that one gift is okay…..but a lot of gifts are much better to look at. And like a little kid at Christmas time, you can look and admire all the gifts as they arrive under the tree because if you open one it will ruin Christmas (what am I writing about?!?!). So you wait and look and you pick one or two up and shake it…..but that’s it…..because Christmas is coming (you guys, I’m sorry. I took medication and it makes me weird). Finally right before Christmas you get THE GIFT. You know exactly what it is because you had seen it so many times in the stores and you measured the box in the store to make sure you’ll know when you got it. No matter what your parents do to conceal it, they can’t fool you. You begin to hyperventilate because you know it’s yours and you want it so bad. You tell your friends you got it and the friends who already have it will tell you how awesome it is. But their wrong, because you know that it’s going to be ten times better then whatever they say because it’s going to be yours. Someday you sit next to that stupid fake tree your dad got three years ago just to look at it…because you know that in a little bit it will be yours forever. You freak out when your sister or, god forgive, brother mess with it. It’s yours and you’ll do everything in your power to keep it that way. The gift is never the biggest or the most expensive. Most of the time it’s the one your parents had the hardest time finding (because you have awful penmanship or some stupid excuse like that), so by the time it arrives under the tree your mom ran out of the cool holographic wrapping paper and its covered with leftover birthday wrapping paper (yes…I’m still bitter about this mom)
So you have this present and for your entire life you’ve been wanting it. You have no guarantee that it’ll be as awesome and as cool as you’ve been told…all you know is deep down you really want it. You’ve considered cheaper editions and things that are similar…but you know that whatever in that box is what you want.
At this point I realize how awful this analogy is and I’m not sure how I’ll end it, but I will end with this. Boys are like that special present on Christmas day. You’ll remember every part of asking for it and then having it under the tree, just out of your grasp. Finally you get it and it’s the best thing ever. Not because you get to play with it or you can use it to get into that secret club the weird kids created at the park….it’s because once it’s all said and done, you’ll never forget how special that present made you feel and how happy it was to finally receive it. And even when you’re old and senile your tell everyone of this amazing present and your grandkids will start to think of how much money they can get from it and don’t realize that it’s been so overused and messed up no one will want it.
So yeah….I think of men as presents and I’m waiting for the special one to arrive under the tree. How adorable is that?